Serenity Now!

If you have a kid's toy that makes music and you want to make the music stop, here's how I did it. If you choose to do this (which you shouldn't), use caution because it could be dangerous. I accept no liability for you burning your house down.

About eight years ago, someone gave me a toy for my then-infant daughter. The toy was a rubber ball with a little device inside that produced music when the ball was bounced. There was a small hole that allowed the music to get from the electronics to the outside world. It was a nasty, repetitive, tinny song, and it grated on the nerves. But our daughter was in love with the ball, and as indulgent first-time parents we couldn't bring ourselves to take it away. One night in the middle of the night the ball started to make the song spontaneously. I tried to make it stop, but I couldn't figure out how. I stuck an ice pick down the hole to try to scramble the ball's brains. But the angle was wrong and it didn't do the right damage. Then I tried to submerge it, waiting for bubbles to come up out of the brain. But the water had no effect on the song other that to give it a slightly flat tone. Finally, in a true Eureka moment, I tossed the ball in the microwave, still playing its cursed song. I turned the microwave on high and pushed the start button. After one or two seconds, there were a few sparks and the music stopped. I pulled the ball out of the microwave. It smelled a little smoky, but that went away quickly. The song was gone for good.

Since this experience I have used this trick a number of times. It works especially well for Burger King and McDonald's Happy Meal toys. It preserves the toy but disables the music. A word of caution: DON'T LEAVE THE MICROWAVE ON FOR TOO LONG. As soon as the toy starts to spark, the microwave should be turned off. There is a chance of catching the toy on fire, so be ready with a fire extinguisher.

This, by the way, would be truly evil dirty trick to play on someone's laptop or iPhone. I am fairly certain that it would permanently destroy anything with sensitive electronics in it.